kristi.methamphetamineabusediscussionforum
- Location: US
| Total Posts | Last Post | Last Seen | Joined |
|---|---|---|---|
| 69 | 02/26/10 21:19:09 | 02/26/10 21:19:09 | 06/19/09 |
| Visitors Now | Visitors Today | Most Visits | Total Visits |
|---|---|---|---|
| 0 | 0 | 8 08/19/09 |
44 |
OneHotTamale
08/18/09
lily7474
This will be brief because hubby is right here and don't want him to know I come here...will post more tommorow cause I have to respond to your response!!! FINALLY someone who understands...
I am actualy not that far away...I live in Sacramento. Perhaps one day we can meet up? I'd love to take a road trip by myself when I get out on my own and the bay is beautiful.
K, will write more tommorow when I can do it "freely" :) HUGS!
Lily
08/03/09
debbieL
Wow, I am SO sorry! It sounds like the completely typical meth addict story though. $10,000? Wow, that is crazy that he went through all that money. I hate to tell you what to do, but DON'T take money from your 401k! If I were you, I would cut all ties to him, or you will be penniless, homeless, and maybe even start using yourself. He needs to stop using you and deal with this himself. I wonder what he says to his meth "friends" when he's staying at the hotel room YOU paid for, and using YOUR money to buy more meth.
California, huh? I know nothing about the laws and resources in that state. You are fighting a losing battle, though. This I DO know for sure. AND he's trying to put this on you. Bad. The more you hand him money, or pay his bills, the more that you are simply enabling him.
Keep in touch, OK?
Sincerely,
Debbie
Original comment »
07/20/09
debbieL
Wow, awesome! What state are you in? I can't believe they would not recommend inpatient! In Washington, you can do it through DSHS.
Hang in there, and keep in touch. If you don't get the response/answer that you are looking for from one person/organization, then keep looking and asking other places! I would say help him to get the help that he needs, but don't do all the work for him. This is for him to do, not for you to do FOR him. Addicts are good at getting everyone else to do it, and not putting in the work themselves. Definitely, though, if he cannot get into an inpatient center, daily meetings and intensive outpatient is better than nothing. And UA's!
Sincerely,
Debbie
Original comment »
07/19/09
HI Debbie,
Well, I feel like a complete idiot. He got out of the hospital yesterday morning and we went to a nice breakfast together to talk about his plans and what he is going to do. He was so "normal" that I completely started to fall back in, even though I had planned on filing for divorce next week. I started rethinking my plans, but still kept my guard up with him. He wanted to spend the whole day together, wanted me to go and pick our daughter up and go to a park and just be together. I said I couldn't do that. He swore he would never use ever again, 14 days clean and he knew he was done. He swore on our daughters life.
He used last night and never checked into a hotel. Stayed out all night. I had the suspicion because he never called me back or texted me after I tried contacting him last night. I am FLOORED!!!! I actually started to believe him. I really did and now I feel like a fool. :( I went and saw him this afternoon and it was written all over his face. I know he is ashamed, and TRIED to start saying that I "let him go" yesterday. Like I could read his mind and know that if I had stayed with him all day that I would have kept him away from meth. I'm sorry, I just don't understand it.
I have to say that he is actively trying to get into rehab, staying in a hotel right around the corner from the facility. He is trying to collect more money owed to him from a state agency. Sadly, we don't have the money to get him in there. He had $10,000 and its all GONE in 3 weeks. And he had no rent to pay. I paid it. I called to try and take a loan from my 401K tonight but because I have moved, it's a 15 day hold. We are in California....do you or anyone know of any sliding scale rehab clinics? He has a very very small income.
I'm so beyond frustrated. I feel so stupid though because I actually started to believe and have faith again. And then in talking to him, he has this amazing way of making me actually feel BAD for him. I even paid for his hotel room for tomorrow night because he has NO MONEY to his name and I can't have him freakin homeless. My God, what do I do?
07/20/09
debbieL
How's it going?
07/12/09
HI Debbie,
Thank you so much for your response. I'm sorry I didn't write back, I didn't realize there was an area on this site to view messages. Just found it today. We are doing "ok". He is 13 days clean right now and in a hospital for "suicide watch". He told me that he did that to try and get the most help he can. He was hoping that they would refer him to an inpatient rehab program and unfortunately they are not. :( Every day he is trying to convince me not to file for divorce. It's all very emotional. I truly believe as many posted that actions speak louder than words and that he needs to be on his own and pay bills as you said, and work on his own instead of me doing it all for him. He says so many nice things to me right now, crazy nice. It's hard to know if it's truth or because he's scared. He has no where to really go.
Anyways, thank you so much for checking in. I will write more tomorrow. I'm off to bed, super tired tonight. :)
07/18/09